- There might be arguing or shouting, with one person shouting at the other or name calling/ saying horrible things to them.
- There might be signs of physical violence, like marks on the wall from items being thrown, broken picture frames or ornaments. Or the person being harmed might have bruises or marks which indicate they have been physically assaulted.
- One person might not be allowed out to see their friends, engage in hobbies, or even go to work.
- There might be an unfair division of housework – one person might be expected to do all of the chores and they might get ‘in trouble’ with the other person if the chores aren’t done quick enough or if they aren’t done correctly.
- One person might have complete control over what happens with the other persons finances/money.
- There might be cameras around the house or watching the doors, so that the abusive person can monitor what the person is doing at all times.
- The abuser might control what the person wears, how they do their hair, their make-up etc.
- The abuser might try to use a child/children to further abuse the survivor- the abuser might try and turn the children against the person they are trying to hurt, or say horrible things to the child about the person, trying to get them to ‘take sides’ in arguments or fights.
It’s important to note that no two homes where this is domestic abuse will look the same. There are lots of signs to be aware of, but sometimes you might not notice any signs, and that’s ok.
It’s not your responsibility to know whether domestic abuse is happening in your home, and it is not your responsibility to try and stop it. In fact, this could actually put you at risk from harm.
If you do think there is domestic abuse happening in your home, you can talk to a trusted adult like a teacher or a social worker. If you think someone is in immediate danger, call the police on 999.